|
My name is Kathy, and I am a list freak.
In fact, if you read my column regularly, you’ll know
that I’m Queen of the Bullet Point. It’s how I
often write, it’s how I usually talk, and frighteningly
enough, it’s the way I think. Here’s why. In bullet
form. Oh be quiet.
- I like to do things in a logical
sequence. Doing what’s due first, and working my way
through. If I know one child will freak out more by getting
his ice cream second and not first, he gets it first. Yes
it’s playing favourites. We all have them. Even your
mother did.
- If we are having people over, I clean
the house in the order of the rooms they are going to most
likely be in. Follow me here. The front hall, the hallway
leading to the kitchen (everyone hits the kitchen first
– some never leave), through to the dining room, the
living room, around the corner and into the bathroom. Normally
there are kids in my family room so sensible people avoid
that – and because there are kids there, I can’t
really be expected to keep that room clean anyway, can I?
And I don’t go anywhere near the upstairs bathroom
as that is my kids’ primary receptacle. Besides, if
someone needs to go to the bathroom that badly that they
race upstairs, they’re not going to notice the mess,
now are they?
- Like most Moms, my days range from the
ridiculously busy and overscheduled to the mind-numbingly
boring and monotonous. Having a “list” in my
head allows me to trick myself into thinking I’m getting
things done and moving down a path of accomplishment. This,
versus feeling like I’m a hamster on a wheel or Mom
in a mini-van secured to the house with a stretchy cord
that allows it only to circle back and forth between the
schools, the hockey arenas and the inconveniently located
playdates.
- I have four kids. I do things in order
to make sure no one gets missed. For example, when I’m
serving dinner, I always put out their plates of food in
order, from youngest to oldest. That way, the younger ones’
meals start cooling faster than the older and the younger
ones like my cooking and the older ones don’t so I
can get compliments first and complaints second. My oldest
daughter has begged me to serve her first but I just can’t
do it. She’s going to complain about that vein in
the chicken again.
- With 18 years of parenting experience
under my belt, I’ve discovered that things that seem
like a big deal really aren’t when you work through
the logical consequences, step by step. For example, some
Moms might get upset if their child wears the same t-shirt
for four days in a row. After all, here’s what might
happen that’s bad…okay, no I can’t think
of anything. Really. Here’s what good thing could
happen – less laundry for you. Step 1: Wear the shirt
until dogs start licking it for snacks, Step 2: Put it in
the laundry with the one other shirt you wore this week.
Perfect.
Frankly most of my days are spent
working through lists to get me to the end of the day, where
I can start compiling the next one for tomorrow. Now excuse
me while I check off “Write column” and add “Buy
chicken.”
 |
Kathy
Buckworth’s latest book “Shut Up &
Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children & Chardonnay”
is available on March 21st at bookstores everywhere. Pre-order
your copy today and visit www.kathybuckworth.com
for details on book signings and events.
|
[top]
|
