Let’s face it, if you’re
a Mom with a newborn you may as well give in and embrace
the world of Twitter, and chat online at 2am instead of
watching those info-mercials. If you haven’t entered
the world of Twitter yet, make 2012 the year to get online
and in the know. Worried about what to expect? I’ve
prepared a handy round up of all the Tweets you’ve
been missing this past year, as they relate to kids, house,
home, and husband, so you’ll be caught up. Ready?
Here we go:
- Moms don’t sleep, and the first
thing they do when they’re not sleeping is to Tweet
out the fact that they’re not sleeping. Which causes
them to stay awake longer. Which they will also Tweet
about the next morning. And occasionally throughout the
day, as they’re also not napping.
- None of us exercise enough, according
to our outside voices on Twitter. And the ones that do
work out, as a rule, we don’t like. They’re
just bragging about it. It’s not motivating at all.
(You might want to go back to watching late night TV ads
for Thigh Masters if the “Fitter Twitter”
Tweets get to be too much for you.)
- If you want reinforcement to have
that next glass of wine, eat that extra piece of chocolate,
to blow off the lunch date with that Mom down the street
you really don’t like, or to prove once and for
all your husband can’t do anything right, you’ve
come to the right place. Vent ladies, vent. For support
and for that extra piece of chocolate. (Just don’t
expect any virtual pats on the back when you try to work
it off the next day.)
- People really don’t Tweet about
what they had for breakfast. Unless they take a picture
of it first. Don’t even get me started on dinner.
Or snacks during Glee, Real Housewives, or The Biggest
Loser.
And because the New Year always has us
thinking about resolutions – things we will stop and
start doing to have a better year – I’ll let
you learn from my mistakes and share my own personal twi-resolutions
on what to stop:
- Tweeting out any remarks, photos,
or comments that in any way suggest a nine year old boy
is still “cute” or “adorable”.
He’s a Jedi Warrior (awww how cute is that?).
- Tweeting out any type of bodily function
that any children have. It’s really not necessary.
This type of things goes on ALL THE TIME. (The functions,
not the Tweeting. Ok, both.)
- Tweeting out something that describes
a situation that is unfortunate, but happens to all of
us, and then ending it with “That.” For example
“You know when it takes you 8 hours to make dinner
and the kids eat it in 2? That.” I know, right?
Boring. That.
Run out of things to say? No worries.
You can always Tweet about what you just bought on the Home
Shopping Channel at 2am. A “Tweep” will then
back you up on it, and convince you to grab a glass of wine
while you’re doing it. Because that’s the way
we Tw-roll.
 |
When not writing
down everything her kids say, Kathy is hard at work
on her next book, “I Am So The Boss Of You”,
due out with McClelland & Stewart, Spring, 2013.
"Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children
and Chardonnay" is now available at bookstores
everywhere. Read my blog "BlackBerryDiaries"
at www.blackberrydiaries.net
Visit www.kathybuckworth.com
for information and upcoming events.
Follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth
Watch Kathy discuss the latest hot parenting topics
every Friday at 11:20am on CTVNewschannel.
|
|
